Common Emotions Post-Abortion (That No One Prepares You For)
When I had my abortion at 17, no one warned me what I might feel afterward.
No pamphlet, no conversation, no space to process.
I was told it was my choice (and it was). I was told to move on (but I couldn’t).
What I really needed was someone to tell me this: There is no one-size-fits-all emotional experience after abortion. And every single emotion I felt was valid.
So today, I want to talk about the emotions that often go unspoken — the ones that may have quietly crept in after your experience and left you wondering: “What’s wrong with me?”
The truth? Nothing is wrong with you.
Here are some of the most common emotions I’ve witnessed (in myself and in the women I walk with), and why they’re all a part of the healing journey:
💔 Grief
Grief after abortion can catch you off guard. It’s not always about regret — sometimes it’s about loss. Loss of potential. Of what could’ve been. Of who you were before. Grief is sacred. It’s not proof you made the wrong decision. It’s proof you’re human.
🧷 Guilt
Guilt can sneak in even when you’re sure of your choice. It can sound like, “What kind of person does this?” or “I should’ve…” But guilt isn’t always rational — it’s emotional. And it doesn’t define your worth.
🔥 Anger
Anger is often misunderstood, especially in women. You might be angry at a partner, a parent, a system, yourself. Let it come up. Anger can be a portal to truth and personal power when held with compassion.
🫥 Numbness
Some women feel… nothing. This emotional freeze can be your body’s way of protecting you from pain too overwhelming to process all at once. Numbness isn’t failure. It’s survival.
🫣 Shame
Shame thrives in silence. It tells you, “You can’t talk about this.” It’s the heavy weight that keeps you from seeking help. But shame cannot survive being witnessed. Your story is not shameful — it’s worthy of being held in love.
😌 Relief (and the guilt that can follow it)
Yes — you can feel relief. You can breathe easier and still carry grief. You can know it was right for you and still feel pain. Relief and guilt are not opposites — they often walk hand-in-hand.
🤍 All of Them Can Coexist
You are not wrong for feeling more than one thing at once. You can feel peace and sorrow. Guilt and clarity. Love and loss.
You don’t have to pick one emotion and stick to it. You are allowed to be complex. You are allowed to be human.
If you’ve been carrying emotions you weren’t prepared for — I want you to know you’re not alone.
Your experience is valid. Your feelings are real. And you deserve a safe space to process all of it — without judgment, shame, or pressure to “get over it.”
This is the work I do. This is the space I hold.
And if your heart is whispering that it’s time to begin your healing… I’m here.
With love,
Jennifer
P.S. If you’re ready to explore your healing journey, my self-paced course Beyond the Choice is open now. You can move through it on your own timeline, with videos, journal prompts, and sacred practices designed to guide you home to yourself.
Learn more or join here → HERE
P.S.S. If you’re craving connection and in-person support, my next in-person healing group begins May 13th & 14th. This is a safe, sacred space for post-abortive women to come together, share, and heal in community. I’d love to hold that space for you. 💜
Learn more or join → HERE